Tag Archive: Marriage

It’s been a while…

Yeah, my blogging has taken a serious backseat to the rest of my life.
I’ve been struggling with these major changes.

My divorce is final.
That’s kind of a big deal.
I’m glad it’s finalized, but also a little empty.

I have my own bills to pay.
Adult-things to worry about.

I’m anxious and terrified and excited.

I’d like to get back into blogging now that things have actually settled down a bit.
I promise to come back with more regular updates.


cant even



It’s been far too long since I’ve been here.
Life exploded and then imploded on me.


Our dance company got a new studio space (yay!) and we moved in, started classes, had a party, etc.
Class sizes for me are good – I teach the beginner level classes, and have had 5-9 people per class. Our other classes are doing well, too. We’re growing, and that’s great.

I was asked by another dance troupe to join them in dancing at the Festival of Nations event. It’s a pretty big deal for me.
I used to go to the event for my school language classes.
Now I get to dance there!

More than 100 ethnic groups participate in the festival to share their traditions, customs, food, arts/handicrafts, music and dances. You can see beautiful dance and music performances on three stages, watch educational demonstrations, shop the international bazaar, and sample the culinary delights of many different nations!
Vendors and organizations represent non-profit educational and ethnic organizations.
Al-Bahira will be performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday of the Festival, representing the nation of Egypt (on behalf of the Egyptian American Society)
~ and ~  for the first time, the Persian (Iranian) ethnic group will also be represented at the festival (with stage performances by Al-Bahira.)


My marriage fell apart.
Like…. fell. the. fuck. apart.

I needed more from him than he could give me.
I wasn’t strong enough to maintain any hope that things would change.
He really tried. I love him for that.
He was beginning to put so much of the effort that I wished he would have had for so long.
But I had to prompt him to care again.
I shouldn’t have to force my partner to care for me.
I shouldn’t have to threaten to leave in order to get him to realize that I’m important.
I put so much effort into trying to force him to want to be a part of my life.
And, when he realized he would lose me, it was too late.
I knew that, if I stayed, I would forever dread that things would go back to the way they were.
That I would be lonely in his presence.

I don’t want to live in fear.

Last weekend, we I made the decision to end our marriage.
I hope that, sometime in the future, we can be friends.
I don’t hate him.
I’m not angry with him.
I will always have a special place in my heart for him.
He will always be one of my best friends.
Even if he wants nothing to do with me.

So now I move on.
My friends and family have been wonderful and supportive.
I am so incredibly thankful for that.

I am sad.
But I will be happy again.
And I hope he will, too.

moon and stars

Today, Minnesota – my home state – became the 12th to allow same-sex marriages.

We know how to celebrate.

35W Bridge

Outside the Capital building

 Rainbow half  Rainbow close

I know how to celebrate, too.  🙂


One of my facebook friends posted this on her wall today, and I couldn’t help but agree with the sentiment.

“I wish my moderate Republican friends would simply be honest. They all say they’re voting for Romney because of his economic policies (tenuous and ill-formed as they are), and that they disagree with him on gay rights. Fine. Then look me in the eye, speak with a level clear voice, and say,” My taxes and take-home pay mean more than your fundamental civil rights, the sanctity of your marriage, your right to visit an ailing spouse in the hospital, your dignity as a citizen of this country, your healthcare, your right to inherit, the mental welfare and emotional well-being of your youth, and your very personhood.” It’s like voting for George Wallace during the Civil Rights movements, and apologizing for his racism. You’re still complicit. You’re still perpetuating anti-gay legislation and cultural homophobia. You don’t get to walk away clean, because you say you “disagree” with your candidate on these issues.”
— Doug Wright, Pulitzer and Tony Award winning playwright

I recently got into a debate – not an argument, surprisingly – with a friend of a friend over the whole thing. His agrument was “Where does it end?”. I’m sorry, but that’s a silly argument. Just because two adults of the same gender want to marry, that doesn’t mean that we’d let folks marry animals or children or lamps.

State-recognized marriage is a legal, civil contract between two consenting adults. It has nothing to do with any religion. If you want your church to also recognize your marriage, that’s fine too. The fact is that marriage is not solely a Christian institution. This is not a difficult concept.

On that note:
I understand that churches are exclusionary institutions, and may say no to couples wanting to marry for any number of reasons (my mother was denied becuase she was divorced from my father). So, I understand that a church would refuse to marry a couple because they were same-sex. I don’t have to agree with it, but that is their choice. The state cannot make them marry anyone.

To of my favorite people are getting married (to each other) today!

I met Keith back in 2005 while I was running bar trivia to raise money for Animal Ark Shelter. He and two friends were sitting at a table in the restaurant. I didn’t often go into the restaurant area for trivia because I felt it would be rude to interrupt folks having dinner. But, one of the servers I knew (because, let’s face it, I was at the bar so often that the management had my phone number) pointed them out to me.
The trivia of the night was “Geek-topia”. It featured topics such as Jim Henson, D&D, Star Wars, Star Trek, and a few other random nerdy movies and games. And yes, if you looked at these three sitting there together, you would just know that they were geeky.They won by a HUGE margin.

Keith met Marie through an dating site a little over a year ago.
Most of us were relieved when he found a girlfriend – it really seemed to calm his angst and, um, frustration.  😉

She really is good for him. They share an interest in photography, movies, and games. And she is one of the sweetest, most intelligent women I have met. She’s bilingual, and open to cultures outside of white-bread American.

I knew that their wedding day wouldn’t be traditional… or boring.
Neither of them is religious. I get the feeling that she, though, is pretty spiritual. So a friend of theirs (who was one of the geeks at the table) will be performing a civil ceremony for them.

They’re getting married at a park here in the Cities. The forecast about a week ago had today as well into the 80s. Now, we’re looking at 70s with a [high] chance of rain.
However, I don’t feel bad about it, or wish for a more “perfect” day.

You see, rain is a GOOD thing.
According to this article and many others, rain is a good omen.

I am very happy for them, and excited to be a part of their big day.