Category: Love


It’s been a while…

Yeah, my blogging has taken a serious backseat to the rest of my life.
I’ve been struggling with these major changes.

My divorce is final.
That’s kind of a big deal.
I’m glad it’s finalized, but also a little empty.

I have my own bills to pay.
Adult-things to worry about.

I’m anxious and terrified and excited.

I’d like to get back into blogging now that things have actually settled down a bit.
I promise to come back with more regular updates.

XOXO

cant even

Ch-ch-ch-changes…

It’s been far too long since I’ve been here.
Life exploded and then imploded on me.

EXPLOSION!!!!

Our dance company got a new studio space (yay!) and we moved in, started classes, had a party, etc.
Class sizes for me are good – I teach the beginner level classes, and have had 5-9 people per class. Our other classes are doing well, too. We’re growing, and that’s great.

I was asked by another dance troupe to join them in dancing at the Festival of Nations event. It’s a pretty big deal for me.
I used to go to the event for my school language classes.
Now I get to dance there!

More than 100 ethnic groups participate in the festival to share their traditions, customs, food, arts/handicrafts, music and dances. You can see beautiful dance and music performances on three stages, watch educational demonstrations, shop the international bazaar, and sample the culinary delights of many different nations!
Vendors and organizations represent non-profit educational and ethnic organizations.
Al-Bahira will be performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday of the Festival, representing the nation of Egypt (on behalf of the Egyptian American Society)
~ and ~  for the first time, the Persian (Iranian) ethnic group will also be represented at the festival (with stage performances by Al-Bahira.)

IMPLOSION!!!

My marriage fell apart.
Like…. fell. the. fuck. apart.

I needed more from him than he could give me.
I wasn’t strong enough to maintain any hope that things would change.
He really tried. I love him for that.
He was beginning to put so much of the effort that I wished he would have had for so long.
But I had to prompt him to care again.
I shouldn’t have to force my partner to care for me.
I shouldn’t have to threaten to leave in order to get him to realize that I’m important.
I put so much effort into trying to force him to want to be a part of my life.
And, when he realized he would lose me, it was too late.
I knew that, if I stayed, I would forever dread that things would go back to the way they were.
That I would be lonely in his presence.

I don’t want to live in fear.

Last weekend, we I made the decision to end our marriage.
I hope that, sometime in the future, we can be friends.
I don’t hate him.
I’m not angry with him.
I will always have a special place in my heart for him.
He will always be one of my best friends.
Even if he wants nothing to do with me.

So now I move on.
My friends and family have been wonderful and supportive.
I am so incredibly thankful for that.

I am sad.
But I will be happy again.
And I hope he will, too.

moon and stars

Our Dancing Daughters is Still Fundraising!.

Please consider donating to this awesome program. Kamala Chaand Dance Company is doing some amazing work.

If you can’t donate, please consider spreading the word through your social media outlets.

Thank you!

Our Dancing Daughters

I was in a music video!!!

Hey, folks! I was in a music video!!!! Check it out!
I’m pretty excited about this; it was my first time (ever) being on film.

Everyone I worked with was pretty amazing – Tana is one of the coolest women I have ever met.

<p><a href=”http://vimeo.com/110668594″>KATANA DA DON – GRIM</a> from <a href=”http://vimeo.com/lkhllywd”>Marlee MacLeod</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

Director – Paul von Stoetzel
Producers – Paul von Stoetzel/Killing Joke Films & Bridget Cronin/Pounding Heart Multimedia
Editing & FX – Marlee MacLeod/HyperFocus Productions

BadAsses

D&T

Dance

Dead

Headshot

Shot

Surrounded

zombies

Calli Pro
This is Calli, our first cat.

 

 


This is the last photo I have of us together, taken just days ago.

We got Calli before we bought our home. She was the coolest, most bad-ass cat ever.
She was a lap-cat, a cuddler, snuggler, and a kisser.
She didn’t like many people, but those she liked knew it.
She was….

She was Calli.
And we had to say goodbye yesterday.

Calli got sick.
She lost a lot of weight, was jaundiced, had pancreatitis, and possibly hepatic lipidosis (unconfirmed, but likely).
We tried.

Painkiller, antibiotic, anti-nausea, appetite stimulant…
We syringe-fed her food and water.
She wouldn’t eat on her own.
She barely drank on her own.

We had 4 options:
1) Nasal-esophageal feeding tube
2) Hooking her up to and I.V. (w/hospitalization) for nutritional supplementation
3) Continue force-feeding her
4) Euthanasia

After everything we went through with Peanut, we knew that Calli would not do well with a tube, and the chance of successful treatment with 1 & 2 was very low. 
We didn’t want her to suffer. If we tried to continue feeding her by hand, she would, most likely, slowly starve to death and die at home.

I could not let her go through that.
And I couldn’t put my husband through waking up to find her body.
I don’t know that i could handle that, either.

Letting her go was the most humane thing we could do for her.
And it was the most painful thing for us.

It’s the first morning without her.
And it’s obvious.

And it sucks.

Heart-shaped cats

Happy Pride Weekend!

June 28th & 29th marks the 42nd annual Pride festival in the Twin Cities.

I am not gay; I proudly support my LGBT friends.
Pride is a big deal.
And it’s important.

Unfortunately, I don’t think I can make it down to the celebrations this year. I have classes, a family get-together, and some major housework to get done.
But I’ll be celebrating at home.

Kinda like this:
pride

Celebrate.
Love.
Accept.

Closer

Closer. (from The Muse & Her Demons)

amore

 

 

The Type – Sarah Kay

There is power in words.
And thoughts.
And actions.
We are power.
We are women.

The Muse & Her Demons

If you grow up the type of woman men want to look at,
you can let them look at you. But do not mistake eyes for hands.

Or windows.
Or mirrors.

Let them see what a woman looks like.
They may not have ever seen one before.

If you grow up the type of woman men want to touch,
you can let them touch you.

Sometimes it is not you they are reaching for.
Sometimes it is a bottle. A door. A sandwich. A Pulitzer. Another woman.

But their hands found you first. Do not mistake yourself for a guardian.
Or a muse. Or a promise. Or a victim. Or a snack.

You are a woman. Skin and bones. Veins and nerves. Hair and sweat.
You are not made of metaphors. Not apologies. Not excuses.

If you grow up the type of woman men want to hold,
you can let…

View original post 267 more words

The Ancient Greeks’ 6 Words for Love

“Looking for an antidote to modern culture’s emphasis on romantic love? Perhaps we can learn from the diverse forms of emotional attachment prized by the ancient Greeks.”

Taken from
http://www.mysticfamiliar.com/library/moon/yule_moon.html
———————

This is a time of rest. As the night is long and the days are short it becomes a time of self healing and rejuvenation. As mother Earth has tucked herself in, so should you. It is perfectly fine to allow yourself the time to heal and relax that is necessary.

This is also known as the Yule Moon, as it usually falls right before the Yule celebrations begin. Take time for reflection on the past year. Honour all that you have learned and mentally clear out what you no longer need. Enjoy the long night as it is a time of peace on Earth and a great time of personal healing.

Whether you celebrate Yule, Christmas, Chanukah or Kwanza, it is a time of peace and love, to all mankind and to the creatures of the earth. Do not forget to put out food for our animal friends as food is getting scarce and all life is sacred, this becomes a good time to honour all life.

This is also the time of fellowship, when friends come together and new friends are made. When the prosperous help support those who struggle, there is no greater joy than the sharing of what you have with those who have not.

In the native belief, the time of the moon covered from one month to the next, so it was not just one day, it was the cycle of the moon. So there was always plenty of time to do what needed to be done in that time. So do not think that you only have one day to honour, celebrate, meditate and rest. Spend the whole month doing so. Allow yourself the time to rest and repair. But also allow yourself time to celebrate and share.

There are no set rules to honour this time of year, there are many customs and beliefs, but you should do what your heart feels is right. Your guides can help you or you can follow the tradition of your choice. In my home we honour all, I will set up for Yule, we will have a tree, I will light the candles of the menorah, I believe all holidays have a valid point or they would not exist. Besides it is fun to study others beliefs, helps me to be more understanding, then any judgment or fear of someone else’s beliefs fade away and I continue to grow. So on that note, I shall bid you adieu, from this moon ’til the next, many blessings to you and yours.


—————————

And this is from:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Wicca-Teachings/127815357367419

Tonight is a Full Moon it is called the Cold Moon or the Before Yule Moon.
This is an especially special Full Moon because it is the last one of this year. It is a time to use the Moonlight to charge our energies ready for coming Yule and the New Year.
This particular Full Moon will not be boring and will have an unpredictable vibe along with it. What was stuck may suddenly begin to move or shift. If emotions are clogged, they may surface and flow.
Allow this.
Be with it as loving as possible with your self and others.
The potential of the Full Moon in Gemini is to become aware of where you are engaging in dualistic thought, emotions and behaviors on auto-pilot. This may be generating a lot of mental stress and tension plus sending out mixed signals to others and the Universe. Some people may be irritable and cranky.
Emotions can be raw and urgent.
Breathe deeply.
Ground yourself.
Keep a sense of humor.
Be of good cheer.
Be the calm in the storm.
Get in the driver seat and empower yourself.
Be honest with yourself.
Stop arguing for your limitations.
Take responsibility for your life. In this way, you can change what is not working. You are the master of your destiny.
Take your power back from society and/or other people.
Learn from your mistakes.
Vow to do better next year.
Make a commitment to your success.
Be adaptable.
Make friends with change. It is not the enemy. Change is your friend. Change sheds the old and gives birth to the new.
With Yule and New year approaching look deep into yourself and ask what you want to happen in the coming year, ask yourself how you will bring it about. Make this the year that you make all your dreams come true. The energy from this Full Moon wants you to succeed. Tell the Moon your hopes and dreams write them down on paper and burn them by a white candle. As the smoke drifts to the heavens the universe will receive your message. Have a blessed Full Moon.
May the Goddess watch over you.