Category: Healing


Put forth into the world that which you would ask in return.

Sarah is someone I have never met; we’re friends on Facebook.
She was injured in a hit and run accident, and things have spiraled downhill since.
Please consider donating to her fundraiser – help her get back on her feet.

Yesterday, she was victimized yet again.
“I got robbed yesterday. Someone took all my cash and my phone charger. Please make a donation to my fundraiser. Right now every dollar truly counts.”

http://sheneverslept.com/newsandreviews/hit-and-run-i-need-your-help

“Hello world… 2016 has been a rough year me and things continue to get increasingly worse. Honestly I am beginning to feel cursed. On the 4th of February I was the victim of a hit and run accident. I was crossing a major street (walking) and was hit by a car. It took off. I wound up with a broken tailbone and a concussion and a crapload of medical expense. I am still in an intense amount of pain. I have no insurance and the police are just not following up with this case, despite numerous calls. I can’t even afford any more medical help. Due to the cost of everything related to the accident my savings was depleted. I ended up losing my job because of absences resulting from the accident. Then in April when my roommate decided she needed our room for her boyfriend who was getting out of prison (sprung on us with less than a month notice). I was hosed. For the past few months I have been basically homeless, sleeping on couches and staying in hotels when I could do so. I went back to work for a former employer doing sales, but any money I made was immediately spent to survive because I am in a deep, deep hole. And with the housing crisis in Portland, I haven’t even been able to find a room to rent. This past pay period I didn’t make commission. It was the first time in my entire history with this company I did not do so. They fired me. I am still in shock. I am working on trying to get unemployment but obviously the situation is even more dire now. It looks like we will be sleeping in the truck for the time being. So, I am asking for your help. I am in urgent need for food, shelter, bills, doctor’s visits, and basics. I am trying so hard to get back on my feet and it seems despite everything I do things just keep getting worse. Please donate if you can. Every little bit helps!”

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Just… stop.

I saw this post on my Facebook feed today, comparing Malala to one of the Kylie Jenner.

“Malala Yousafzai & Kylie Jenner. Both turned 18 recently. One was given a Ferrari and spent thousands on facial modification. The other was awarded a Nobel Peace Prize, survived a gun shot to the face by the Taliban due to corruption in her country, and opened a school for Syrian refugees to combat the lack of education for youth around the world. What’s upsetting is the media is only covering one of these stories as “breaking news.” Share the post to spread real love and inspiration across the youth of the world. Last thing to note, Malala is infinitely more beautiful! **re-posted

I made the mistake of reading the comments. (NEVER READ THE COMMENTS)
jesus do all those talentless ho bags have the same plastic surgeon? they all look like the same plastic mold of expressionless garbage
^This. This right here is the kind of crap we women have to deal with.
I would LOVE to respond directly, but that would only cause some severe male backlash for which I just have no patience today.

So I did a quick status update….

(Copied from my FB page)

Ohmaifukkinggawdz….
Comparing the character of people is one thing, but stop talking about their physical appearance.
It doesnt matter how much cosmetic surgery a woman has had. That’s her choice. It may not be your thing, but that doesn’t matter, because she didn’t do it for you.

Comparing a psuedo-celebrity (who, as far as I know, has done nothing for world-betterment) to a young woman who has pushed boundaries and fought for social justice is asinine when all you care about is who is more “beautiful”.

Stop.

Just stop reducing women down to their looks. It doesnt matter who they are, whether or not you agree with them, or what they have done. Their face and body have nothing to do with who they are as people.
‪#‎INeedFeminismBecause‬
‪#‎iammorethanmybody‬
‪#‎fuckthepatriarchy

It’s been a while…

Yeah, my blogging has taken a serious backseat to the rest of my life.
I’ve been struggling with these major changes.

My divorce is final.
That’s kind of a big deal.
I’m glad it’s finalized, but also a little empty.

I have my own bills to pay.
Adult-things to worry about.

I’m anxious and terrified and excited.

I’d like to get back into blogging now that things have actually settled down a bit.
I promise to come back with more regular updates.

XOXO

cant even

Ch-ch-ch-changes…

It’s been far too long since I’ve been here.
Life exploded and then imploded on me.

EXPLOSION!!!!

Our dance company got a new studio space (yay!) and we moved in, started classes, had a party, etc.
Class sizes for me are good – I teach the beginner level classes, and have had 5-9 people per class. Our other classes are doing well, too. We’re growing, and that’s great.

I was asked by another dance troupe to join them in dancing at the Festival of Nations event. It’s a pretty big deal for me.
I used to go to the event for my school language classes.
Now I get to dance there!

More than 100 ethnic groups participate in the festival to share their traditions, customs, food, arts/handicrafts, music and dances. You can see beautiful dance and music performances on three stages, watch educational demonstrations, shop the international bazaar, and sample the culinary delights of many different nations!
Vendors and organizations represent non-profit educational and ethnic organizations.
Al-Bahira will be performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday of the Festival, representing the nation of Egypt (on behalf of the Egyptian American Society)
~ and ~  for the first time, the Persian (Iranian) ethnic group will also be represented at the festival (with stage performances by Al-Bahira.)

IMPLOSION!!!

My marriage fell apart.
Like…. fell. the. fuck. apart.

I needed more from him than he could give me.
I wasn’t strong enough to maintain any hope that things would change.
He really tried. I love him for that.
He was beginning to put so much of the effort that I wished he would have had for so long.
But I had to prompt him to care again.
I shouldn’t have to force my partner to care for me.
I shouldn’t have to threaten to leave in order to get him to realize that I’m important.
I put so much effort into trying to force him to want to be a part of my life.
And, when he realized he would lose me, it was too late.
I knew that, if I stayed, I would forever dread that things would go back to the way they were.
That I would be lonely in his presence.

I don’t want to live in fear.

Last weekend, we I made the decision to end our marriage.
I hope that, sometime in the future, we can be friends.
I don’t hate him.
I’m not angry with him.
I will always have a special place in my heart for him.
He will always be one of my best friends.
Even if he wants nothing to do with me.

So now I move on.
My friends and family have been wonderful and supportive.
I am so incredibly thankful for that.

I am sad.
But I will be happy again.
And I hope he will, too.

moon and stars

Our Dancing Daughters is Still Fundraising!.

Please consider donating to this awesome program. Kamala Chaand Dance Company is doing some amazing work.

If you can’t donate, please consider spreading the word through your social media outlets.

Thank you!

Our Dancing Daughters

“…but my depression always drags me back to my bed,
until my bones are the forgotten fossils of a skeleton sunken city,
my mouth a bone yard of teeth broken from biting down on themselves.
the hollow auditorium of my chest swoons with echoes of a heartbeat,
but I am a careless tourist here;
I will never truly know everywhere I have been…”

http://www.upworthy.com/a-mother-doesnt-understand-why-her-daughters-depressed-her-daughter-clears-that-up-for-her?g=2&c=ufb1

I am not so sick!!!!

My pathology labs came back already – holy crap, that was fast!

I was just in yesterday for the biopsy; that was pretty sucktastic – lots of needle pokes. My neck is stiff and sore. It hurts to talk, to cough, to laugh. Sneezing just about brings me to tears.

But… good news!

I am cancer free!!!!!!

Yay!

KCDC TroupeSome of you have probably seen this (I’ve posted this on all my blogs, plus several Facebook pages, including our troupe/studio page Kamala Chaand Dance Company, or my dance page, Adara Din), so my apologies for this clogging up your feeds.

Well… I’m only kind of sorry – because this is an awesome thing.

We are starting a community program called ‘Our Dancing Daughters’. This program is designed to support at-risk girls, teens, and women with self empowerment education through dance (a lot like SEEDs). There are, currently, no programs like this in our area.

Troupe members will be taking part in crisis prevention training so that we are able to coach the girls and young women through issues that they may be struggling with. We will work with a financial planner who will assist the girls and young women with learning how to make a budget, check their credit, balance a checkbook and plan their lives financially.

We will be implementing an accountability system whereby the girls and young women who are in school will have a regular check in with a partner and with one of the KCDC instructors about how they are doing in school and what they need to work on in order to excel.

Additionally, we will be aiding the girls in finding scholarships and programs to help them with their education after high school.

Our aim is to help women and girls who are the most at risk, to become leaders in their community through self empowerment and the building of their self esteem and self reliance.

We’ve started a fundraiser – it’s what all the cool kids are doing these days.

We’re working on getting a slightly larger studio space in our building, in order to accommodate a larger number of students. We are also looking for seed money to start the scholarship program, as well as being able to supply basic costuming for the scholarship recipients (zils, skirt, and an Our Dancing Daughters logo tank top).

This is something very important to me, personally, as I dealt with severe self-image issues and eating disorders as a young woman. I now know I am not alone, and having a support group in dance has been nothing short of amazing.

If you are able, please consider donating to our Gofundme fundraiser.
If you aren’t, but would still like to help, we’d love it if you could share our page with others.
Potato salad dude raised thousands of dollars on a joke; I think we can raise a bit to help our community.

TL;DR?
Visit the link and see the cool stuff you can get for helping at-risk girls.

Thank you!
(BIG thanks to our Mods for letting me post this here; ya’ll are stars!)

http://www.gofundme.com/b9mm38

 

girl power

Calli Pro
This is Calli, our first cat.

 

 


This is the last photo I have of us together, taken just days ago.

We got Calli before we bought our home. She was the coolest, most bad-ass cat ever.
She was a lap-cat, a cuddler, snuggler, and a kisser.
She didn’t like many people, but those she liked knew it.
She was….

She was Calli.
And we had to say goodbye yesterday.

Calli got sick.
She lost a lot of weight, was jaundiced, had pancreatitis, and possibly hepatic lipidosis (unconfirmed, but likely).
We tried.

Painkiller, antibiotic, anti-nausea, appetite stimulant…
We syringe-fed her food and water.
She wouldn’t eat on her own.
She barely drank on her own.

We had 4 options:
1) Nasal-esophageal feeding tube
2) Hooking her up to and I.V. (w/hospitalization) for nutritional supplementation
3) Continue force-feeding her
4) Euthanasia

After everything we went through with Peanut, we knew that Calli would not do well with a tube, and the chance of successful treatment with 1 & 2 was very low. 
We didn’t want her to suffer. If we tried to continue feeding her by hand, she would, most likely, slowly starve to death and die at home.

I could not let her go through that.
And I couldn’t put my husband through waking up to find her body.
I don’t know that i could handle that, either.

Letting her go was the most humane thing we could do for her.
And it was the most painful thing for us.

It’s the first morning without her.
And it’s obvious.

And it sucks.

Heart-shaped cats

Over on my other blog, I made a list of dance-related blogs that I follow and enjoy, and think my readers would enjoy, as well.

So, here’s the partner blog to that one:
Blogs You Should Follow, Non-Dance Edition.

Adventures and Musings of An Arch Druidess

Druid Life

Mama Sheri’s Blog

Fiona Grows Food (this is, actually, the blog that brought me to WordPress)

The Templar Night

Ozark Pagan Mamma

Weeping Into Dance

In the Garden 

Katrina Labra

The Dancing Professor

Cassie Being Cassie (note: this blog is no longer current, see next link)

Devil’s Advocate (Cassie’s new blog)

———

More bloggy goodness coming soon.

But not tonight.
I had a long, but awesome, night in the studio. I’m tired, sore, and kinda smelly.
And I need a beer.
Sprecher Black Bavarian sounds good.

Good night, friends.