Category: Culture and Society


Put forth into the world that which you would ask in return.

Sarah is someone I have never met; we’re friends on Facebook.
She was injured in a hit and run accident, and things have spiraled downhill since.
Please consider donating to her fundraiser – help her get back on her feet.

Yesterday, she was victimized yet again.
“I got robbed yesterday. Someone took all my cash and my phone charger. Please make a donation to my fundraiser. Right now every dollar truly counts.”

http://sheneverslept.com/newsandreviews/hit-and-run-i-need-your-help

“Hello world… 2016 has been a rough year me and things continue to get increasingly worse. Honestly I am beginning to feel cursed. On the 4th of February I was the victim of a hit and run accident. I was crossing a major street (walking) and was hit by a car. It took off. I wound up with a broken tailbone and a concussion and a crapload of medical expense. I am still in an intense amount of pain. I have no insurance and the police are just not following up with this case, despite numerous calls. I can’t even afford any more medical help. Due to the cost of everything related to the accident my savings was depleted. I ended up losing my job because of absences resulting from the accident. Then in April when my roommate decided she needed our room for her boyfriend who was getting out of prison (sprung on us with less than a month notice). I was hosed. For the past few months I have been basically homeless, sleeping on couches and staying in hotels when I could do so. I went back to work for a former employer doing sales, but any money I made was immediately spent to survive because I am in a deep, deep hole. And with the housing crisis in Portland, I haven’t even been able to find a room to rent. This past pay period I didn’t make commission. It was the first time in my entire history with this company I did not do so. They fired me. I am still in shock. I am working on trying to get unemployment but obviously the situation is even more dire now. It looks like we will be sleeping in the truck for the time being. So, I am asking for your help. I am in urgent need for food, shelter, bills, doctor’s visits, and basics. I am trying so hard to get back on my feet and it seems despite everything I do things just keep getting worse. Please donate if you can. Every little bit helps!”

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Just… stop.

I saw this post on my Facebook feed today, comparing Malala to one of the Kylie Jenner.

“Malala Yousafzai & Kylie Jenner. Both turned 18 recently. One was given a Ferrari and spent thousands on facial modification. The other was awarded a Nobel Peace Prize, survived a gun shot to the face by the Taliban due to corruption in her country, and opened a school for Syrian refugees to combat the lack of education for youth around the world. What’s upsetting is the media is only covering one of these stories as “breaking news.” Share the post to spread real love and inspiration across the youth of the world. Last thing to note, Malala is infinitely more beautiful! **re-posted

I made the mistake of reading the comments. (NEVER READ THE COMMENTS)
jesus do all those talentless ho bags have the same plastic surgeon? they all look like the same plastic mold of expressionless garbage
^This. This right here is the kind of crap we women have to deal with.
I would LOVE to respond directly, but that would only cause some severe male backlash for which I just have no patience today.

So I did a quick status update….

(Copied from my FB page)

Ohmaifukkinggawdz….
Comparing the character of people is one thing, but stop talking about their physical appearance.
It doesnt matter how much cosmetic surgery a woman has had. That’s her choice. It may not be your thing, but that doesn’t matter, because she didn’t do it for you.

Comparing a psuedo-celebrity (who, as far as I know, has done nothing for world-betterment) to a young woman who has pushed boundaries and fought for social justice is asinine when all you care about is who is more “beautiful”.

Stop.

Just stop reducing women down to their looks. It doesnt matter who they are, whether or not you agree with them, or what they have done. Their face and body have nothing to do with who they are as people.
‪#‎INeedFeminismBecause‬
‪#‎iammorethanmybody‬
‪#‎fuckthepatriarchy

This was going to be a Facebook status, but it quickly snowballed into something more.
—-
You don’t get to be my friend if you can’t see that there are some pretty serious problems with institutionalized racism, sexism, classism in this country.

After seeing an awful exchange on one friend’s feed, and some terrible stuff on several others, let me just say a few things:

1) If you think Trump is “just telling it like it is”, GTF off my page. I do not want you here. He’s not telling anything “like it is”. He’s a classless, bigoted jackass who has no idea what the hell he’s doing – he can barely maintain his own company. Do you honestly think he can run a country?!
No, don’t actually answer that. If you’re going to defend him, unfriend me; I’m not going to listen. #byefelicia

2) If you honestly believe that feminism is about bringing men down, GTFO. Feminism is about lifting women.
End of story.

3) If your feminism doesn’t include people of color, you’re doing it wrong.

4) If you have a problem with POC simply because they are not white – GTFO. I have no time for that b.s.
Racism has no place in my life. EVER.

5) Men can love men and women can love women. The LGBTQ community isn’t a religion trying to convert you. People just want to love who they love.And if you honestly believe that gay marriage is going to ruin your straight marriage – your problem is not gay marriage.

6) If you believe the hashtags “AllLivesMatter” or “NotAllMen” are about equality, you’re wrong. They were started as a way silence the oppressed. BlackLivesMatter and YesAllWomen isn’t about you; stop trying to make it about you.

7) Job title does not determine someone’s value as a person. If you think it does, GTFO. You don’t get to belittle people because they aren’t saving lives every day. You don’t get to turn your nose at someone because they do. Jobs are important, no matter what the job is. Jobs are what keep our economy running.

8) Income doesn’t determine someone’s value. Accidents can change a life. Hard work can change a life.
Who the hell do you think you are to judge someone based on their net-worth?

9) Do you know who you can judge? Assholes. Judge people on their attitude, not their appearance.

10) If you think a woman shouldn’t have sovereignty over her own body, GTFO. No, seriously; just go. Planned Parenthood (as well as other clinics) isn’t just about abortions. Birth control isn’t about having all the sex we want. You (men and women alike) don’t get to high-five at your male friends for having sex with multiple women, only to turn around and call the women ‘sluts’. Just STAHP.
It is becoming increasingly difficult to be a woman here.
Very soon, I may have no access to quality reproductive health support because some upper-class, middle-aged white men (and some women!) think they know more about my uterus than I do.
People who don’t know the difference between a vagina and a vulva.
People who put more stock in a clump of cells that couldn’t support itself outside the womb than the woman carrying it. People who would complain about a mother asking for assistance after being forced to have a baby – calling her a free-loading drain on society.
People who think rape is acceptable because a woman “was asking for it” based on what she wore, or how much she had to drink, or because she “owed” him sex for buying dinner.
Fuck that noise.

11) It doesn’t matter what I wear or how I wear it. I can drink whatever the hell I want. You aren’t entitled to my body. I’m only “asking for it” if I ask you for it.
Does that really need to be clarified?

12) The thing that makes us different from the other animals? Choice. We have choices. We make choices.
All. The. Time.
Don’t give me that “they/he/she couldn’t control themselves” bullshit. The instances in which a person cannot control themselves are rare; I’m not buying it.

13) Your religion does not get to dictate anyone else’s life.
When folks go on tirades about teaching doctrine in schools, for example, ask yourself – “Who’s doctrine?”
You do realize that there are THOUSANDS of religions out there, right? Why is yours more right than anyone else’s? I don’t have a problem with people having a religion. I don’t care what you practice. Just don’t be an ass. Similarly, if you don’t have a religion, you don’t automatically get to be a douche to the people that do. Unless they are jerks; then, by all means, give ’em hell.

14)  Age does not automatically qualify you for respect.
You earn that shit.
If you’re a jerk to me (or anyone), I am under no obligation to respect you.

15) Don’t. Be. An. Ass.

16) You actually don’t have to agree with me.We have the option to disagree and not ever talk about these things OR just not talk to each other ever again.I’m fine with either.I won’t start fights on your page if you don’t start fights on mine.

#notmycircusnotmyelephants

One of my most favorite people in the world, the 12-year-old daughter of one of my dearest friends, was kidnapped and raped today.

She is, fortunately, alive.
I haven’t spoken to her mom in about an hour; they are still at the hospital.

She’s twelve.

12.

My heart is so very broken for her.
She’s like a little sister to me.

I will call down the wrath of every God and Goddess I can think of.
There will be justice.
There will be vengeance.

I have lost faith in humanity.

Our Dancing Daughters is Still Fundraising!.

Please consider donating to this awesome program. Kamala Chaand Dance Company is doing some amazing work.

If you can’t donate, please consider spreading the word through your social media outlets.

Thank you!

Our Dancing Daughters

There’s a full moon tonight (and the blood-moon was last night/early this morning).
We did a group (troupe) reading tonight, as a means of seeing if we’re going in the right direction and what we could do to achieve our collective goals.
But… I’m not getting into that, in part because that is troupe business, and not what this post is about.

I’m not typically one to hit the cards.
I have a difficult time remembering what various positions mean, or even what the cards mean. These things don’t stick in my head. Stringing together the relationships of cards is even more difficult.
I’ve recently begun thinking that, maybe, it’s my deck. Maybe I don’t connect with it.
Or maybe I haven’t spent enough time connecting.
I don’t know.
It’s a Celtic Ogham deck, and I have had it for many years (nearly 20). I was first drawn to it because it reminded my of my love of nature and Irish/Celtic history.

Because moon magic is strong tonight (and as a water sign, I have a strong connection to the moon), I decided to pull my own cards.
I did the recommended 15-card draw – which is, in reality, three 5-card draws. Each set of 5 cards represents past, present, and future.
Based on my very limited experience, here is what I gained from my incredibly broad “where the f*ck do I go from here?” question.

Past:
In my past, I was very good at trusting my instincts.

Present:
I need to go back to trusting my instincts, and search for the truth in people.
I have a strong dedication to my desires.

Future:
Hard choices have to be made.

Ask a vague question, get a vague answer.

KCDC TroupeSome of you have probably seen this (I’ve posted this on all my blogs, plus several Facebook pages, including our troupe/studio page Kamala Chaand Dance Company, or my dance page, Adara Din), so my apologies for this clogging up your feeds.

Well… I’m only kind of sorry – because this is an awesome thing.

We are starting a community program called ‘Our Dancing Daughters’. This program is designed to support at-risk girls, teens, and women with self empowerment education through dance (a lot like SEEDs). There are, currently, no programs like this in our area.

Troupe members will be taking part in crisis prevention training so that we are able to coach the girls and young women through issues that they may be struggling with. We will work with a financial planner who will assist the girls and young women with learning how to make a budget, check their credit, balance a checkbook and plan their lives financially.

We will be implementing an accountability system whereby the girls and young women who are in school will have a regular check in with a partner and with one of the KCDC instructors about how they are doing in school and what they need to work on in order to excel.

Additionally, we will be aiding the girls in finding scholarships and programs to help them with their education after high school.

Our aim is to help women and girls who are the most at risk, to become leaders in their community through self empowerment and the building of their self esteem and self reliance.

We’ve started a fundraiser – it’s what all the cool kids are doing these days.

We’re working on getting a slightly larger studio space in our building, in order to accommodate a larger number of students. We are also looking for seed money to start the scholarship program, as well as being able to supply basic costuming for the scholarship recipients (zils, skirt, and an Our Dancing Daughters logo tank top).

This is something very important to me, personally, as I dealt with severe self-image issues and eating disorders as a young woman. I now know I am not alone, and having a support group in dance has been nothing short of amazing.

If you are able, please consider donating to our Gofundme fundraiser.
If you aren’t, but would still like to help, we’d love it if you could share our page with others.
Potato salad dude raised thousands of dollars on a joke; I think we can raise a bit to help our community.

TL;DR?
Visit the link and see the cool stuff you can get for helping at-risk girls.

Thank you!
(BIG thanks to our Mods for letting me post this here; ya’ll are stars!)

http://www.gofundme.com/b9mm38

 

girl power

Over on my other blog, I made a list of dance-related blogs that I follow and enjoy, and think my readers would enjoy, as well.

So, here’s the partner blog to that one:
Blogs You Should Follow, Non-Dance Edition.

Adventures and Musings of An Arch Druidess

Druid Life

Mama Sheri’s Blog

Fiona Grows Food (this is, actually, the blog that brought me to WordPress)

The Templar Night

Ozark Pagan Mamma

Weeping Into Dance

In the Garden 

Katrina Labra

The Dancing Professor

Cassie Being Cassie (note: this blog is no longer current, see next link)

Devil’s Advocate (Cassie’s new blog)

———

More bloggy goodness coming soon.

But not tonight.
I had a long, but awesome, night in the studio. I’m tired, sore, and kinda smelly.
And I need a beer.
Sprecher Black Bavarian sounds good.

Good night, friends.

I wanted to expand a little on my Facebook status update from last night (3/31) for a few reasons, not the least of which being that it was late and I was typing it on my phone.

—-Original Post—-

“Confidence is sexy.”
How often, as women, do we hear that?
How many times today did I read that as a response to a friend’s status? Four. Four different friends had that response.
Do you know why I hate that phrase?
Because it’s a bullshit line.
Confidence *should* be sexy. But when a woman asks for what she wants or, Heaven forbid, demand it, she’s told that she is needy, demanding, and pushy (and a slew of other things).
We are, essentially, trained to shrink within ourselves. To be self-conscious and to think so little of ourselves so that we will not be seen as over-bearing.
Yes. We need to be confident and strong.
But YOU need to treat us like our wants are valid. Like we aren’t asking too much. Like it is acceptable and normal to have high hopes and goals.
I am confident.
But many times I feel I have to hide it because I just don’t have the patience to fight with people anymore.
You know what, though?
I am really, really tired of holding back.
So, fuck it.
I’m gonna be a goddamned star.

————–

Some of you may be wondering why I would be offended at someone telling me, even in a positive way, that my confidence is sexy.
Or maybe you’re not; it doesn’t particularly matter to me, but this post will probably bore and/or confuse you.

First of all, my attractiveness is not anyone’s business but my own. How I look, how I feel, cannot, should not, and will not be validated by how others see me.
I don’t need to *be* a certain thing to please others.

Secondly, by implying that only when I am “confident” (does it always have a particular look?) can I be attractive, you are invalidating all other emotions I may experience.
It’s like when someone (male or female, mind you) tells you that “you should smile more often; you’re so much prettier when you smile.”
It’s condescending.

Side note:
I had Glamour Shots photos taken several years ago. One photo hung on a wall, framed, in the art gallery where I worked. I cannot tell you how often I heard this (and variations of it):
“Oh my God, is that you?! You look really different. You look so pretty!”
They were trying to be nice… I suppose, but it hurt. They were essentially saying that I was not beautiful naturally. That the air brushed, coated-in-make-up me was stunning.

I trust very few people out there when it comes to my appearance – sexy or not.
And even then, I really only trust myself.

I don’t dress a certain way to please others. It’s pretty obvious that I live at the ass-end of the fashion world.
I wear blue jeans and hoodies, I wear my dance gear, I wear old sweatshirts that have been shredded by time.
I wear what makes me comfortable.
I have tattoos that mean things to me. I don’t give a damn if anyone else “gets” them. They’re for me and me alone.
I color my hair. Often.
I like how I look with different colors.
I wear next-to-no makeup on a daily basis. I don’t need to put color in my cheeks to please the masses.
I am more than okay with how pale I am.
That said, I enjoy wearing makeup. I like showing off different features in different ways, and playing with colors to see how they look on my face.
I do not do that for anyone but myself.

It may be a bit hypocritical to say that I do appreciate it when people tell me things like, “You look really good today.” or “That’s a great color on you.”
It is a bit of an ego boost, and I’m okay with that.
But…. I do not feel horrible or sad or like less of a woman if I don’t hear those things. Hell, I don’t even think about it.

If I want an opinion about how I look, I’ll ask.

I’m really fortunate to have people in my life that are supportive of me and my choices.
Rarely have my friends or family told me that I’d “look better if…”

————-

Confidence is:
The state of feeling certain about the truth of something.
I am confident that my looks have nothing to do with my feeling of confidence.

A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.
I am confident that, regardless of how other people see me, I am beautiful, talented, intelligent, compassionate, and driven.

If someone chooses to see me differently, that’s their problem, not mine.

Rainbow Dash

Happy Valentine’s Day! (and a shameless plug).

———-

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!

My dance troupe is trying to win a grant through FedEx to raise funds for a project called SEEDs – Self Empowerment Education through Dance.

SEEDs is a program for at-risk female youth that strives to give them body awareness and self-awareness so that they are less likely to fall victim to poverty and abuse.

It’s been a big goal of our troupe, as well as being one of my own, to get a community project like this going, as we have nothing like it in the Twin Cities/Metro.

We just broke 200 votes, and it looks like the number to beat right now is 350.
If you have the time, please consider voting for us. You can vote every day, too.

http://smallbusinessgrant.fedex.com/Gallery/Detail/348cdeb3-036a-427b-bc20-7851fdd81d2e

Thanks!