Category: Cats


Living with cats…

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Calli Pro
This is Calli, our first cat.

 

 


This is the last photo I have of us together, taken just days ago.

We got Calli before we bought our home. She was the coolest, most bad-ass cat ever.
She was a lap-cat, a cuddler, snuggler, and a kisser.
She didn’t like many people, but those she liked knew it.
She was….

She was Calli.
And we had to say goodbye yesterday.

Calli got sick.
She lost a lot of weight, was jaundiced, had pancreatitis, and possibly hepatic lipidosis (unconfirmed, but likely).
We tried.

Painkiller, antibiotic, anti-nausea, appetite stimulant…
We syringe-fed her food and water.
She wouldn’t eat on her own.
She barely drank on her own.

We had 4 options:
1) Nasal-esophageal feeding tube
2) Hooking her up to and I.V. (w/hospitalization) for nutritional supplementation
3) Continue force-feeding her
4) Euthanasia

After everything we went through with Peanut, we knew that Calli would not do well with a tube, and the chance of successful treatment with 1 & 2 was very low. 
We didn’t want her to suffer. If we tried to continue feeding her by hand, she would, most likely, slowly starve to death and die at home.

I could not let her go through that.
And I couldn’t put my husband through waking up to find her body.
I don’t know that i could handle that, either.

Letting her go was the most humane thing we could do for her.
And it was the most painful thing for us.

It’s the first morning without her.
And it’s obvious.

And it sucks.

Heart-shaped cats

It seems so long ago…

I can hear my heart beating.
I feel it throbbing at the side of my neck.

There are days that I just want to be able to sleep through the night without worrying about the monsters that hide in the corner of my brain.
The little sounds that usually comfort me to sleep have suddenty become deafening.

I miss the sound of Peanut snoring her cute little snores at the foot of the bed.
And her little nose against mine in the morning. And all the tiny, obnoxious things she insisted on doing to wake me up.

I miss the confidence I used to have.
Some of it has come back. I have some really amazing people in my life that kick me out of my self-pity funks. But there’s a part of me that left a long time ago, and I’m not sure if it’ll come back.

I miss barbeque sauce.
And wheat beer. Bell’s Oberon was freakin’ fantastic.

I miss long trips to the lake. And fishing with Grandpa.Weekends just never feel long enough.

I miss Grandma’s rose garden.
She had so many pretty colors growing, and she almost always let me take one home.

I want new ink.
I told myself that I wouldn’t want more, but I do. I find things that remind me of the person I want to be.
Things that tell the story of me (not that anyone would necessarily want to read it, but I often write for my own sake anyway).

I miss that period between high school and college, when the groupd of us partied like rock stars.
Waking up in the morning to find someone passed out on the bathroom floors.

I really, really miss D&D.
Miranda was a badass. Do NOT mess with Battle Banshee.
No, you cannot shoot lighting out of your butt.
What the hell are ice arrows?
Never get into a drinking competition with a dwarf.
Tiles was the greatest game EVER.

Reminiscing is easy; isn’t it?

My birthday is coming up, so I have decided to get a new tattoo in celebration.

It’s not a major birthday, but I haven’t gotten myself anything in years, and it’s been several since my last one. I think it’s about time.

I have a few ideas roaming around in my brain (in no particular order):

Harley Quinn diamonds. A set of three in black and red on my upper arm or thigh.
An Irish Barn Owl. Mom’s favorite animal is the owl, and I would like to have a stylized (Celtic) owl on one of my arms.
A rose and a shamrock, one for each grandmother.
Tetris pieces, falling down my leg. Tetris is my second all-time favorite video game following The Legend of Zelda (I already have 2 Zelda pieces on my leg).
Kitty paw prints, one for each of my girls.
Brigid’s Cross
Generic silhouette of a black cat. Cats are my favorite animal, and I consider them my guides.
What do you think?
What should I get?
Hrm?

A Year and a Day

It’s been a year and a day since we said goodbye to Peanut.

Peanut was part of the reason I started this blog. It’s been a place for me to soul-search and try to find purpose without her around.

She was a very special cat, indeed, and I miss her very much.

Tongue

Another full moon…

It’s a full moon tonight, and I’m feeling pretty low, energy-wise.
I blame that, in part, on the weather. We’ve had on and off rain, snow, and drab for the last two months.
I am really, really tired of gray.

It rained a bit this evening, while I was in class, making it difficult to focus and keep up.
I am heavily affected by the weather, rain especially.

When it rains, my body just wants to shut down. I just want a warm blanket and a nap with my kittens.

3 hours of  dance class made me tired, too. So now I’m huddled under a throw, laptop and Banshee-cat on my lap, and a Schell’s Schmaltz’s Alt.
I kind of wish we had junk food in the house; I’m hungry, but I don’t have the drive to actually make food.

I can feel the next rain storm creeping in.
It’s supposed to be “thunder sleet”.
Great.
That’s just ducky.

I’ll probably call it an early night; I just don’t have any “oomph” left in me.

Good night, all.
Happy full moon.

Well, well… 200 blog posts.
Crazy.

I guess I didn’t have anything planned, per se. Frankly, I didn’t think I would write so many.

It’s been a crazy year since I began blogging.
Peanut’s death, lots of dancing  (joining first the student troupe, then the performance troupe), on-and-off illnesses, weird dreams, trying to find my path.
It’s been overwhelming at times.

Overall, though, I feel like it was a good year. I certainly hope, however, that this next year is better.

So.

Here’s to 2013.
May it go well for you and me and those we love.

Moon Magic

The Moon has been worshiped for ages; its pull on the world is seen as proof of its magical powers.
More than light in the night sky, the moon affects weather, create tides and may influence earthquakes.
Traditions across the world link the moon with madness.
As the human body is made up of 80% of water, it is thought that we are as affected by the moon as the earth.

Since it’s a new moon tonight (April 10), I figure it’s a good time for me to focus on renewal.
It’s time to open my heart to change and to additions.

Here’s a simple ritual I found online a while back; it’s been sitting in my bookmarks for the “right time” for me to blog about it.
While it mentions  the full moon, I feel like full and new are both appropriate.
———-

“Honor Brigid on the Full Moon with a simple candle ritual.
Connect with the Moon and the Earth in whatever way you wish. Meditation, music, dance, being outside in the light of the Full Moon are all great ways to celebrate the moment.

Anoint the candle with an oil that makes you think of Brigid. You may pick the oil you wish. Think of her various roles as warrior, guardian of hearth and home, healer, goddess of spring. Pick the oil for the association that helps you connect to the aspect of Brigid that calls to you.

Light the candle and mediate on the fire aspect of Brigid, ask her to be present with you at this time.
Make an offering the the form of a poem, song, blessing or prayer.

(This one is from Goddess Alive by Michele Sky)

I thank you Brigid, for you presence here in my home,

For giving me warmth of heart and hearth.
As the sisters of old, I have honored you in the traditional way.
May my love for you be felt through time and space,
Across the universe, upon the earth and under the sea.
Although the light of this candle goes out,
I carry your flame in my breast.

Most Blessed Brigid,
living light,
bright arrow,
sudden blaze,
Goddess of the sun
and of the eternal fire
I guard your flame.”

———————–

THE CAT AND THE MOON

The cat went here and there
And the moon spun round like a top,
And the nearest kin of the moon,
The creeping cat, looked up.
Black Minnaloushe stared at the moon,
For, wander and wail as he would,
The pure cold light in the sky
Troubled his animal blood.
Minnaloushe runs in the grass
Lifting his delicate feet.
Do you dance, Minnaloushe, do you dance?
When two close kindred meet,
What better than call a dance?
Maybe the moon may learn,
Tired of that courtly fashion,
A new dance turn.
Minnaloushe creeps through the grass
From moonlit place to place,
The sacred moon overhead
Has taken a new phase.
Does Minnaloushe know that his pupils
Will pass from change to change,
And that from round to crescent,
From crescent to round they range?
Minnaloushe creeps through the grass
Alone, important and wise,
And lifts to the changing moon
His changing eyes.

— William Butler Yeats

Sweet…

Having a black cat myself – and by “having” I mean she has me trained to do her bidding – I find nothing but cuddles and loves.

Adventures and Musings of an Arch Druidess

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