I’m feeling off.
Part of me is genuinely happy with how life is right now. I’m comfortable, surrounded by people who love and respect me. I’ve found a whole mess of people who support me.

But there’s another part of me that wants to curl up and hide in a corner.

The scared little girl that wonders if she’ll ever be good enough, strong enough, pretty enough.
If she’ll ever be enough.

There are occasions – not as many as there used to be, mind you – where I feel so down on myself.
I have so many wonderful people around me, and sometimes I feel like I could never be as wonderful as they are.

I see these beautiful, healthy, smart women in my life.
Photos pop up on social media sites, hanging out at the malls, at dance events, at the bar, wherever.
I feel so… ugly.

All over, I feel ugly.
It’s like nothing I could ever say, or do, or be, will ever be meaningful or beautiful.

I don’t like to compare myself to others, and I try very hard not to.
I cannot ever compare to anyone else because we are not the same. Apples and oranges, you know?
There are times, though, that it gets the better of me.

So, today is one of those days.
I feel unattractive, lazy, and impossibly stupid.

It will pass; I know that.
Right now, though, I feel awful.

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