There’s that brief moment, when you turn on a television, that you feel and hear the electricity snap to life. Or when you’re in an older house and the hair on the back of your neck stands on end when you flip a light switch or start the dryer. You can feel it in your stomach, and you can hear that high-pitched whine deep in your head.

That’s how I feel when I am around people.

Everyone has this – hum. It’s a bit like a vibration.
Well…. it’s like when you can hear a vibration (kinda like when your cell phone goes off).
It’s a little like how I imagine mediums see auras; it’s just there.

I don’t really recall when I first noticed it, or when I finally realized what it was. It just clicked one day that other people, especially the toxic kind of people, were affecting me more than I thought was necessary.

I’m a bit of an empath.
Happy people make me very happy.
Being around angry people sometimes makes me violently ill.
Sadness can easily throw me into depressive episodes.

I’ve learned to read, for lack of a better term, the hum. It helps me avoid certain people in order to keep myself balanced.

It’s a lot like music; it can make you feel very intense emotions.

So this hum is a song. Everyone has their own song, and it stays the same for each individual, but the intensity, the dynamic of the song changes based on current mood.

The hum hits me square in the chest.
An angry hum feels like I’ve been kicked.
A sad hum pulls me out of myself, like I’m drifting into fog.
A happy hum feels a bit like a hug. It’s warm and calm.

I get overwhelmed at events, sometimes, because there is so much chaos. I get a ringing in my ears from the ceaseless echo of voices. It takes a hell of a lot of concentration to not panic. I will generally gravitate toward one or two people and focus on them.

I can feel my own hum all the time. And when my hum harmonizes with someone else’s, it’s a great feeling. It’s like I have my own little orchestra playing.

My friends all have this in common – their hum plays nicely with my own. Sometimes, their hums match up with the others’, too. That is usually when I am most contented. There are some friends, though, that (while I love them dearly) I cannot have around each other. It breaks my heart, but it’s for my own good. It’s not even that said friends cannot be around each other. It’s just that the vibration is so mis-matched that it gives me a headache.

drums

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