Something like 15 years ago, I met Lisa, who would become one of my best friends.
We got along so well that she went on to be my personal attendant at my (very small) wedding, and I was the matron of honor at hers.

There were periods, as is the case of most relationships, of ups and downs. We’d never really fought, but our lives went different directions and time was a commodity that neither of us had. The wonders of technology kept us in fairly regular contact though, even when we could physically talk to one another.

Over the course of our friendship, we introduced each other to our friends. In most cases, I got along well with hers (except for that neo-nazi groupd her ex ran with, those guys were dipshits). My friends tolerated her… she does have an emo/woe-is-me kind of attitude some days. One friend in particular, James, became a member of our core group for a while. We’d meet up at the bar or at shows and dinner. We had a good thing.
Lisa really like James, but he didn’t share those feelings.

Flash forward a few years.
Lisa has a fiance, a wonderful man who cares deeply for her.
James has a fiance. She’s a fantastic woman. She and I bonded almost instantly – we have quite a few things in common, dance being one of them.

The first time the girls met, there was apparently some kind of misunderstanding and now they don’t like each other. Now, it’s not that they hate each other, but they just don’t have things in common.

James and his lady asked me to be  part of their wedding as a groomswoman. I was absolutely floored.
In part, it was a HUGE honor to be a part of their day. It was a bit of a shock, as I didn’t know her very well, and James and I had only recently reconnected. We had kept in touch, but the hanging-out bit didn’t happen much for any of us over the last 2 years.
Still, I was more than happy to stand up there for my friend.

Lisa wasn’t invited to the wedding. James was afraid she’d make a scene.
I didn’t find out until much later that there had been a phone conversation that did not end well.

Now, Lisa has been trying to make me feel guilty about maintaining my friendship with James and his wife. She’s made it out to be that I owe her something because we’ve been friends longer and I wouldn’t even know James if it weren’t for her.
I flat out asked her if she thought I couldn’t be freinds with them both. There was no satisfactory response to that.

It’s been about a month since our last conversation. I needed to cool my head…. and it was a bit of a power play.
She needed to see that what she was doing was hurtful to me. Their “fight” is just that – theirs. I don’t feel like I should be punished.

After that fairly long cold shoulder, I extended an olive branch and asked if Lisa wanted to get lunch.
In the course of the conversation about when and where, I got this:

Oh, I forgot to mention… James and his wife have a daughter, who was born a week ago – about 6 weeks early.
Now, the jump from “you were a groomswoman” to “are you the godmother” is kind of a big one.
And, the jump from dinner, to “by the way, are they making you responsible for their spawn?” is also a pretty big leap.

I’ve been doing my very best to stay neutral. In some cases, though, I go on the defensive for James and his wife.
But I don’t know that I can keep doing it.
It’s exhausting.
And now I don’t know what to expect this weekend.