Because of the funk in my life, I’m doing what I can to just relax.
Meditation has been kind to me. I sit with my Peanut in my lap while I feed her and just let myself drift off –  I am absolutley convinced that she appreciates it, too. I think my stress has impacted her, and this is a good thing for both of us.

Once I have her set in position, and the syringe set in the feeding tube, I take a few slow, deep breaths while petting her. I still have to be “there” a bit, since I have to moniter how fast the liquid is flowing through the tube. I just sit, stroke her fur, and listen to her soft purr.

Most days, I start by envisioning a warm, soft light surrounding us. I imagine that glow gently pulsing around us, in rythym with the beat of my heart. I stay in the light until I feel completely relaxed. Then the light dissipates. I find my self sitting in a grassy field surrounded by trees. The birds are chirping, and there’s a cool breeze blowing. I can hear leaves rustling. And there is a faint music on the wind. It’s always that music.

I don’t know what the tune is, or if I’ve ever heard it in “real life”. But it is beautiful and melancholy.
I always know when I need to return; Peanut will nudge my arm with her paw or nose. I’ll switch the syringe, or finish up completely, and go back for a bit longer. She seems relaxed by it, and I know I definitely feel better.

Even though I am so very stressed, I know there is a place I can go to unwind and heal. And I know Peanut can sense that, too.

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