I’m dealing with a rather harsh reality right now. My Peanut is very, very sick.
Back in November 2011, we found out that she has lymphoma. She’s been very responsive to treatment until recently.

A few days ago was was moping around the house, not really eating. I don’t usually worry, those days happen because of the medication she’s on.
But it continued. Then she stopped drinking.
She wasn’t being herself.

So we brought her to the vet last night.
It’s heart-wrenching to hear that your beloved companion needs to be kept overnight and given IV fluids.
And the worst: “We’ll give you a call in the morning.”

So I wait.
And wait.

Until the phone rings.

I won’t get into the details, but let’s just say it’s not good. There are 3 major things that could have caused this episode, not the least of which is the cancer. I really want this to be a relatively simple thing.. something that can be managed.

Miss Peanut is not a cheap cat. We joke that she’s our gold-plated, diamond-encrusted cat.

Neither of us wants to see her suffer.
Would prolonging her life really be beneficial?
Could we treat her “enough” now in the hopes that something doesn’t come up in another 6 months?

These are questions that I have to ask, but don’t really want to.
She’s my Peanut.

Deep Peace to You
Deep peace of the running wave to you.
Deep peace of the flowing air to you.
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you.
Deep peace of the shining stars to you.
Deep peace of the infinite peace to you.
– Adapted from Ancient Gaelic Runes –
(source: http://www.stumbleupon.com/url/northernway.org/school/onw/prayers.html)

May the blessed sunlight shine on you
like a great peat fire,
so that strangers and friends may come
and warm themselves at it.

And may light shine out of the two eyes of you,
like a candle set in the window of a house,
bidding the wanderer come in out of the storm.

And may the blessing of the rain be on you,
may it beat upon your Spirit
and wash it fair and clean,
and leave there a shining pool
where the blue of Heaven shines,
and sometimes a star.

And may the blessing of the earth be on you,
soft under your feet as you pass along the roads,
soft under you as you lie out on it,
tired at the end of day;
and may it rest easy over you
when, at last, you lie out under it.

May it rest so lightly over you
that your soul may be out
from under it quickly;
up and off and on its way to Heaven.

And now may Spirit bless you,
and bless you kindly.

– Pagan Invocation –
(source: http://www.faithandworship.com/Celtic_Blessings_and_Prayers.htm)

This is Peanut after her surgery in November. She had a feeding tube in for two weeks.

She loves to snuggle.