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Put forth into the world that which you would ask in return.

Sarah is someone I have never met; we’re friends on Facebook.
She was injured in a hit and run accident, and things have spiraled downhill since.
Please consider donating to her fundraiser – help her get back on her feet.

Yesterday, she was victimized yet again.
“I got robbed yesterday. Someone took all my cash and my phone charger. Please make a donation to my fundraiser. Right now every dollar truly counts.”

http://sheneverslept.com/newsandreviews/hit-and-run-i-need-your-help

“Hello world… 2016 has been a rough year me and things continue to get increasingly worse. Honestly I am beginning to feel cursed. On the 4th of February I was the victim of a hit and run accident. I was crossing a major street (walking) and was hit by a car. It took off. I wound up with a broken tailbone and a concussion and a crapload of medical expense. I am still in an intense amount of pain. I have no insurance and the police are just not following up with this case, despite numerous calls. I can’t even afford any more medical help. Due to the cost of everything related to the accident my savings was depleted. I ended up losing my job because of absences resulting from the accident. Then in April when my roommate decided she needed our room for her boyfriend who was getting out of prison (sprung on us with less than a month notice). I was hosed. For the past few months I have been basically homeless, sleeping on couches and staying in hotels when I could do so. I went back to work for a former employer doing sales, but any money I made was immediately spent to survive because I am in a deep, deep hole. And with the housing crisis in Portland, I haven’t even been able to find a room to rent. This past pay period I didn’t make commission. It was the first time in my entire history with this company I did not do so. They fired me. I am still in shock. I am working on trying to get unemployment but obviously the situation is even more dire now. It looks like we will be sleeping in the truck for the time being. So, I am asking for your help. I am in urgent need for food, shelter, bills, doctor’s visits, and basics. I am trying so hard to get back on my feet and it seems despite everything I do things just keep getting worse. Please donate if you can. Every little bit helps!”

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If you have chosen to live as a woman, you’re going to have to accept a few things:

1) Your experiences are going to be completely different that those of natural born women. This is not a bad thing. This does not make you more or lesser. This just is.

2) You will NEED to be a feminist – the feminist goal is NOT to bring anyone down, but to lift women UP. Stop acting like natural-born women are your enemy. Stop using MRA-style tactics to bring women down.

3) There are biological facts that [most] women experience. Menstruation, pregnancy, breastfeeding, menopause.
If you chose to live as a woman, you cannot (read: should not) fake these.  These are not glamorous. These are not pleasant.
These biological realities for women can be painful in many ways. “Pretending” to go through these is offensive.

There is much about womanhood that you will not and cannot understand or experience.
THAT is what makes a woman.
Not clothing or makeup or hobbies.

4) Wanting to live as a woman, but erase the word “woman” makes no sense. If you don’t want women to identify as women… why should you get to do so?
Don’t exclude women. Don’t erase them.
If you want to live as one, you need to ALLOW them to be themselves.

5) Calling myself a woman does not make you a lesser person. It is not meant to insult you. That is my biological reality.
I am in no way insulted if you call yourself a woman.

6) Do not call me “cis”. Cis is a chemistry term, and not a biology term. I am a woman – biologically female – unaltered. Cis is a hateful slur used to insult women by MEN who are fetishizing womanhood. I understand this is a small pocket of the trans community; that does not make it less derogatory.

—-
I will call you a woman if that is your preference. Your desire to wear whatever clothes, and use whatever name you’d like is no offense to me. You are a human being, deserving of your right to live your life how you see fit.

But you also need to accept that I was born female. I have had to endure things that you will never know (on the flip-side, you will have gone through things I will never know).

—–

My point is this:
[Most] Women are not trying to erase transwomen (or transmen, for that matter). Please don’t erase us.

Just… stop.

I saw this post on my Facebook feed today, comparing Malala to one of the Kylie Jenner.

“Malala Yousafzai & Kylie Jenner. Both turned 18 recently. One was given a Ferrari and spent thousands on facial modification. The other was awarded a Nobel Peace Prize, survived a gun shot to the face by the Taliban due to corruption in her country, and opened a school for Syrian refugees to combat the lack of education for youth around the world. What’s upsetting is the media is only covering one of these stories as “breaking news.” Share the post to spread real love and inspiration across the youth of the world. Last thing to note, Malala is infinitely more beautiful! **re-posted

I made the mistake of reading the comments. (NEVER READ THE COMMENTS)
jesus do all those talentless ho bags have the same plastic surgeon? they all look like the same plastic mold of expressionless garbage
^This. This right here is the kind of crap we women have to deal with.
I would LOVE to respond directly, but that would only cause some severe male backlash for which I just have no patience today.

So I did a quick status update….

(Copied from my FB page)

Ohmaifukkinggawdz….
Comparing the character of people is one thing, but stop talking about their physical appearance.
It doesnt matter how much cosmetic surgery a woman has had. That’s her choice. It may not be your thing, but that doesn’t matter, because she didn’t do it for you.

Comparing a psuedo-celebrity (who, as far as I know, has done nothing for world-betterment) to a young woman who has pushed boundaries and fought for social justice is asinine when all you care about is who is more “beautiful”.

Stop.

Just stop reducing women down to their looks. It doesnt matter who they are, whether or not you agree with them, or what they have done. Their face and body have nothing to do with who they are as people.
‪#‎INeedFeminismBecause‬
‪#‎iammorethanmybody‬
‪#‎fuckthepatriarchy

This was going to be a Facebook status, but it quickly snowballed into something more.
—-
You don’t get to be my friend if you can’t see that there are some pretty serious problems with institutionalized racism, sexism, classism in this country.

After seeing an awful exchange on one friend’s feed, and some terrible stuff on several others, let me just say a few things:

1) If you think Trump is “just telling it like it is”, GTF off my page. I do not want you here. He’s not telling anything “like it is”. He’s a classless, bigoted jackass who has no idea what the hell he’s doing – he can barely maintain his own company. Do you honestly think he can run a country?!
No, don’t actually answer that. If you’re going to defend him, unfriend me; I’m not going to listen. #byefelicia

2) If you honestly believe that feminism is about bringing men down, GTFO. Feminism is about lifting women.
End of story.

3) If your feminism doesn’t include people of color, you’re doing it wrong.

4) If you have a problem with POC simply because they are not white – GTFO. I have no time for that b.s.
Racism has no place in my life. EVER.

5) Men can love men and women can love women. The LGBTQ community isn’t a religion trying to convert you. People just want to love who they love.And if you honestly believe that gay marriage is going to ruin your straight marriage – your problem is not gay marriage.

6) If you believe the hashtags “AllLivesMatter” or “NotAllMen” are about equality, you’re wrong. They were started as a way silence the oppressed. BlackLivesMatter and YesAllWomen isn’t about you; stop trying to make it about you.

7) Job title does not determine someone’s value as a person. If you think it does, GTFO. You don’t get to belittle people because they aren’t saving lives every day. You don’t get to turn your nose at someone because they do. Jobs are important, no matter what the job is. Jobs are what keep our economy running.

8) Income doesn’t determine someone’s value. Accidents can change a life. Hard work can change a life.
Who the hell do you think you are to judge someone based on their net-worth?

9) Do you know who you can judge? Assholes. Judge people on their attitude, not their appearance.

10) If you think a woman shouldn’t have sovereignty over her own body, GTFO. No, seriously; just go. Planned Parenthood (as well as other clinics) isn’t just about abortions. Birth control isn’t about having all the sex we want. You (men and women alike) don’t get to high-five at your male friends for having sex with multiple women, only to turn around and call the women ‘sluts’. Just STAHP.
It is becoming increasingly difficult to be a woman here.
Very soon, I may have no access to quality reproductive health support because some upper-class, middle-aged white men (and some women!) think they know more about my uterus than I do.
People who don’t know the difference between a vagina and a vulva.
People who put more stock in a clump of cells that couldn’t support itself outside the womb than the woman carrying it. People who would complain about a mother asking for assistance after being forced to have a baby – calling her a free-loading drain on society.
People who think rape is acceptable because a woman “was asking for it” based on what she wore, or how much she had to drink, or because she “owed” him sex for buying dinner.
Fuck that noise.

11) It doesn’t matter what I wear or how I wear it. I can drink whatever the hell I want. You aren’t entitled to my body. I’m only “asking for it” if I ask you for it.
Does that really need to be clarified?

12) The thing that makes us different from the other animals? Choice. We have choices. We make choices.
All. The. Time.
Don’t give me that “they/he/she couldn’t control themselves” bullshit. The instances in which a person cannot control themselves are rare; I’m not buying it.

13) Your religion does not get to dictate anyone else’s life.
When folks go on tirades about teaching doctrine in schools, for example, ask yourself – “Who’s doctrine?”
You do realize that there are THOUSANDS of religions out there, right? Why is yours more right than anyone else’s? I don’t have a problem with people having a religion. I don’t care what you practice. Just don’t be an ass. Similarly, if you don’t have a religion, you don’t automatically get to be a douche to the people that do. Unless they are jerks; then, by all means, give ’em hell.

14)  Age does not automatically qualify you for respect.
You earn that shit.
If you’re a jerk to me (or anyone), I am under no obligation to respect you.

15) Don’t. Be. An. Ass.

16) You actually don’t have to agree with me.We have the option to disagree and not ever talk about these things OR just not talk to each other ever again.I’m fine with either.I won’t start fights on your page if you don’t start fights on mine.

#notmycircusnotmyelephants

It’s been a while…

Yeah, my blogging has taken a serious backseat to the rest of my life.
I’ve been struggling with these major changes.

My divorce is final.
That’s kind of a big deal.
I’m glad it’s finalized, but also a little empty.

I have my own bills to pay.
Adult-things to worry about.

I’m anxious and terrified and excited.

I’d like to get back into blogging now that things have actually settled down a bit.
I promise to come back with more regular updates.

XOXO

cant even

Help us recoup some of our loss after a recent theft.
If you aren’t able to help financially, please consider sharing our GoFundMe page.
Thank you!

http://www.gofundme.com/xfehw4

Dancing with Adara Din

From Kamala Chaand Dance Company, Inc.:
“Friends, we are so sad to inform students and our fan base that sometime after last Thursday (June 11, 2015), our studio experienced a robbery by someone with a key to the studio.

Missing from our office that was rifled through is our bank bag containing a month of tuition and troupe fees in mostly cash as well as checks.

We are simply distraught that this could happen to us. Small businesses of every kind cannot suffer this kind of loss well.

We are working with St. Paul police and our landlord to try to solve this troubling event.

Thanks for your thoughts and well wishes right now. We are also going to set up a gofundme to accept donations to help recover some of our loss.”

We’re pretty upset about this.
We only moved into the studio in February, and are starting…

View original post 40 more words

Beautiful and inspiring.

hpwritesblogs

FullSizeRender-1FullSizeRender Today I went to a tattoo artist, and for $60 I let a man with a giant Jesus-tattoo on his head ink a semi-colon onto my wrist where it will stay until the day I die. By now, enough people have started asking questions that it made sense for me to start talking, and talking about things that aren’t particularly easy.

We’ll start here: a semi-colon is a place in a sentence where the author has the decision to stop with a period, but chooses not to. A semi-colon is a reminder to pause and then keep going. 

In April I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. By the beginning of May I was popping anti-depressents every morning with a breakfast I could barely stomach. In June, I had to leave a job I’d wanted since I first set foot on this campus as an incoming freshmen because of my mental…

View original post 1,331 more words

Ch-ch-ch-changes…

It’s been far too long since I’ve been here.
Life exploded and then imploded on me.

EXPLOSION!!!!

Our dance company got a new studio space (yay!) and we moved in, started classes, had a party, etc.
Class sizes for me are good – I teach the beginner level classes, and have had 5-9 people per class. Our other classes are doing well, too. We’re growing, and that’s great.

I was asked by another dance troupe to join them in dancing at the Festival of Nations event. It’s a pretty big deal for me.
I used to go to the event for my school language classes.
Now I get to dance there!

More than 100 ethnic groups participate in the festival to share their traditions, customs, food, arts/handicrafts, music and dances. You can see beautiful dance and music performances on three stages, watch educational demonstrations, shop the international bazaar, and sample the culinary delights of many different nations!
Vendors and organizations represent non-profit educational and ethnic organizations.
Al-Bahira will be performing Friday, Saturday and Sunday of the Festival, representing the nation of Egypt (on behalf of the Egyptian American Society)
~ and ~  for the first time, the Persian (Iranian) ethnic group will also be represented at the festival (with stage performances by Al-Bahira.)

IMPLOSION!!!

My marriage fell apart.
Like…. fell. the. fuck. apart.

I needed more from him than he could give me.
I wasn’t strong enough to maintain any hope that things would change.
He really tried. I love him for that.
He was beginning to put so much of the effort that I wished he would have had for so long.
But I had to prompt him to care again.
I shouldn’t have to force my partner to care for me.
I shouldn’t have to threaten to leave in order to get him to realize that I’m important.
I put so much effort into trying to force him to want to be a part of my life.
And, when he realized he would lose me, it was too late.
I knew that, if I stayed, I would forever dread that things would go back to the way they were.
That I would be lonely in his presence.

I don’t want to live in fear.

Last weekend, we I made the decision to end our marriage.
I hope that, sometime in the future, we can be friends.
I don’t hate him.
I’m not angry with him.
I will always have a special place in my heart for him.
He will always be one of my best friends.
Even if he wants nothing to do with me.

So now I move on.
My friends and family have been wonderful and supportive.
I am so incredibly thankful for that.

I am sad.
But I will be happy again.
And I hope he will, too.

moon and stars

Prayer for Peace

Brigit,

We ask for the light of your flame
To enable us to see clearly,
To illuminate the darkness,
To show us the shadows
Cast by our own light.

May the flame of your inspiration
Help us to express and comfort,
To understand and explain –
Encourage us and guide our actions.

We ask for the gift of your healing
To soften our pain,
And mend the wounds
We have inflicted on one another –
Bless us and make us whole.

May the fire of your forge
Enable us to shape our future
With courage and determination,
Using the flame of justice,
Tempered by compassion.

Brigit,
We ask for your protection
Against all that would harm us.
May the beacon of your flame
Show us a path to peace
That all may follow.

Rob fír/May it be true.

Hilaire Wood 12.9.01
(http://www.brigitsforge.co.uk/caim.html)

One of my most favorite people in the world, the 12-year-old daughter of one of my dearest friends, was kidnapped and raped today.

She is, fortunately, alive.
I haven’t spoken to her mom in about an hour; they are still at the hospital.

She’s twelve.

12.

My heart is so very broken for her.
She’s like a little sister to me.

I will call down the wrath of every God and Goddess I can think of.
There will be justice.
There will be vengeance.

I have lost faith in humanity.